Most of us have at least one good friend in our lives, some of us more than one. If we’ve been blessed, that person has stood by our side through the years, unconditionally and with the best of intentions. When we think back over the years together, we remember the fun times, the crazy times, and maybe even the hard times. We mull over the conversations we’ve had…how much we have shared with this friend. Wait a minute…how often have we really listened to that friend? When was the last time we dedicated a few moments to hear their heart? Are our memories those of the circumstances surrounding just OUR lives, or our friends’ as well?
It is truly a learned skill to listen, and to listen thoroughly, without an agenda. Most of us have not mastered this skill! Have you ever caught yourself thinking up your response or piece of advice while the person you are “listening to” is still speaking? I do, all the time, and I have to train my mind to slow down, and give that person my truly full attention.
I really want to become a better listener. By becoming better listeners, we would eliminate a large amount of misunderstandings between ourselves and other people. For instance, in Proverbs 18:13 it says, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and a shame to him.” If we are not hearing that person’s “heart” or true intentions, and we translate what they are saying in our own perspective, we have are again made a “fool” of ourselves!
People are fickle beings, and we must remember that misunderstanding is one of the enemy’s strong hold in the Body of Christ. If we are not genuinely caring of the next person, it shows. If we do not listen with our Spirit, and instead with our impatient, half tuned out flesh, it shows! We need to realize that listening is an important mission for us, as we work to eliminate offense and confusion in the ranks of God’s army! Proverbs 18:19 reminds us that “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city.”
Proverbs 17:27-28 says, “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.” My Grandma Bev, who moved in to heaven in 2008, left the greatest impression on me of how to listen to someone. She was a wonderful listener, as she never had a differing opinion to promote about whatever I was confiding in her. She would listen for lengths of time, nodding as she truly “heard my heart,” never in a hurry for me to finish. We would take long walks in my teen years, and she always had time for my emotional gut-spilling! Her acceptance of me and who I was filled my struggling heart with peace, and I have never forgotten what it feels like to be fully listened to.
What do you think? Who has been a memorable listener in your life? Share it with me!
